This is the first installment of my A to Z sex blog series where I work my way through the alphabet, touching on a new sexual topic that may be of interest to couples with each new letter. My hope is to finish all 26 letters by the end of September. So without further ado….A is for Anal.
Many couples are curious about anal play and sex and for good reason, the anal area can be an erogenous zone for many. I personally love anal sex but my first experience was a horrible one. My partner and I did not know what we were doing. I was young and nervous and had never read anything about anal sex. He had watched just enough porn videos to be dangerous and broke all of the rules, he went in fast, we didn’t use lube (a definite no-no, especially for beginners!), and worst of all he did not listen to me when I communicated with him that it was painful. Partners should always listen to one another and if one partner is not enjoying the experience it should be halted immediately and anal sex should never be painful.
Here are some of the best anal sex tips for beginners:
1. Use lots of lube.
While the vagina is naturally lubricated the anus is not. A good water-based lube will be your best friend when it comes to anal play even if you decide not to penetrate. The tissue in the anus is more sensitive than the vagina and you want to avoid this being an uncomfortable experience.
2. Go slow and relax.
Slow is going to be key to the enjoyment of anal sex. Make sure your partner is relaxed and ready to receive. Start with some foreplay, stimulate the area with a finger or tongue. Insert lube fingers or a small toy designed for the area like a butt plug before trying out his member. When and if you are ready for penetration make sure your partner puts his penis in slowly. If you are nervous try rubbing your clit and focus on how good that feels during the insertion process.
3. Communicate with your partner.
Using your words and listening to your partner will ensure you both have an enjoyable experience. Be honest with your partner about how you are feeling or if you feel you need a break or to change something. Be receptive to your partner’s suggestions and in tune with their needs so you both have a “happy ending.”
A quick word of caution for those new to anal play. Wash any toys, fingers, or your penis (or change condoms) before inserting them into the vaginal area. Bacteria found in the anus can lead to a vaginal or urinary tract infection if it finds its way into the vagina.
I hope my sharing of my first experience and these tips have not scared you away from anal play. My intentions were to offer some advice so that it would be a more enjoyable experience for both you and your partner. Fast forward almost two decades and a husband who listens to my needs and I have found anal sex to be quite an orgasmic experience.