C is for Condoms

 

For this post I will be referring to the male condom, you know that thin stretchy pouch a man puts on his penis before sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy and STDs. I am not going to tell you how or why you should use a condom instead I am going to make a case for how condoms can, in fact, be sexy.

If you have ever used a condom during sexual penetration you can probably recall that “buzz-kill” moment where your both going hot and heavy then have to come to a halt so you or your partner can put on a condom. If you are the woman in this scenario I am going to suggest that you intervene. Instead of being an impatient spectator let your inner dominance come out to play. Take control of the situation (and penis) and put the condom on for him. You can sexily move down between his legs stroking his member while you roll the condom down over it or give him something to look at by climbing up on top like you are going to go reverse cowgirl and then putting on the condom. His view and the feel of what you are doing can be quite sexy.

Condom Anal Sex - Teenage Lesbians

If you are a little shy about putting the condom on your partner try doing it with a blindfold. In the middle of foreplay try blindfolding your partner and not letting him know what you are up to and placing the condom on his penis. (You will want to know beforehand where the condom is!) This will not only prevent you from being nervous if you are new and don’t like the idea of being watched but will add a sense of excitement as well. Hey, if you are feeling a bit adventurous why not try out some of the ideas I listed for blindfold play HERE. 

Here are a few more fun and sexy ideas for using condoms:

Try a condom like Trojan Ecstasy Fire and Ice that produces a warming and tingling sensation for both partners.


Durex Performance Intense offers a ribbed and dotted condom for her pleasure.

How about safe oral with a flavored condom? Glyde Organic Flavored condoms are vegan and feature 5 great tasting 100% organic fruit flavors: blueberry, vanilla, black licorice, strawberry, and wildberry.

I’m not sure how sexy this is but it sure does seem like it would be a fun and playful idea to try a glow in the dark condom like this one from Night Light at least once.

Check out more posts in the A to Z blog series:

A is for Anal: Tips for Beginners

B is for Blindfold: Ideas for Blindfold Play

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Q is for Queening

So, I’m willing to guess that some of you females like me have tried queening long before you ever knew the name of it. Queening is the act in which a woman sits or straddles herself over her partner’s face and presses and rubs her genitalia (or anus) over her partner’s lips and tongue. Queening is also often referred to as face-sitting.

The practice of Queening has been around for hundreds of years and practiced in many cultures. The practice was originally started as a way for upper-class women (including queens) who wished to achieve orgasm without becoming pregnant, The “queen” could be a woman who wished to keep her virginity or a wife whose husband wasn’t around to keep her satisfied.

So, are you feeling like a queen? What are you waiting for? Have your partner lie down, take off your panties, and mount your “throne.” Try lovingly “teasing” your partner by moving in and out of his reach making him want more. (Try tying or cuffing his hands ahead of time.)  Unlike other oral techniques, queening puts you in control of both your partner and your pleasure. Your partner will enjoy the view, the smell, the darkness, and the slight lack of air as you put your weight upon him.

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Random Thursday: A to Z List of Creative Names for Genitalia (Male Edition)

So what does Mr. Ideas do when he gets bored at work? He makes an A to Z alliteration list of creative names you can call your genitalia.

Aerodynamic Artillery Appendage

Battered Beaten Bronken & Bruised

Clit Commander

Dippin’ Dot

Erotic Elephant

Fully Functional Frankfurter for Fun Filled Fridays

Groundhog Guarddog

Hip-Height Hungarian Horn

Injection Inseminator

Jizz Jockey

Mr Penis -- Run cycle - YouTube

King’s Kicker

Lover’s Log

Nut Nectar Nozzle

One-Eyed Oncologist

Purple-Headed Pulverizer

Queen’s Quill

Rechargeable Roleplay Rifle

Standing Shorts Stuffer

Tuna Taco Taste Tester

Ultimate Underwear Unicorn

Vagina Verifier

Warlock’s Warhammer

Xenismos Xenipentone

Yucky Yacker

Zipper Zucchini

Join the fun. Do you have a creative name for your member? Share below and be sure to stop by next Thursday to see the A to Z female list!

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M is for Masturbation

In honor of Masturbation Monday, I have decided to skip ahead in my A to Z sex blog series and share with you the letter M.

Masturbation is simply sexual stimulating your own genitals for pleasure usually to the point of orgasm. There are many ways to masturbate, you can use your hands or fingers, everyday objects like the pulsating water from a showerhead or sex toys like a vibrator. There is so much that can be said about masturbation but in this post, I am going to address just two areas, the benefits of masturbation and masturbating with your partner.

Did you know that masturbation can be more than just fun that there are actual health benefits as well? I am going to share a few with you but be sure there are many more.

    1. Masturbation relieves stress for both men and women by releasing oxytocin, a hormone that makes you happier and helps with depression.
    2. Masturbating works as a natural sleep aid. Leading up to climax your body produces the hormone dopamine and afterward oxytocin along with endorphins which can help you fight insomnia naturally.
    3. Women who experience regular orgasm have a greater resistance to coronary heart disease and less chance of developing type 2 diabetes.
    4. Masturbation or orgasm can be a natural pain reliever. It also helps in relieving  cramps in women during their menstrual cycles.
    5. Masturbation helps flush out bacteria from the cervix in women and lowers chances of getting a urinary tract infection.
    6. Regular ejaculation in men causes sperm to be more healthy. Research has shown that the sperm quality and quantity increases the more a man ejaculates.
    7. Men who ejaculate more than 5 times a week are 1/3  less likely to have prostate cancer because it flushes the toxins out of the urogenital tract.
    8. Regular ejaculation in men helps prevent erectile dysfunction.

When most people hear the word masturbation they usually think of it as a solo activity. Masturbating was something you did to get yourself off before you met your partner but what if I told you that masturbating with your partner could also be a great way to spice up your sex life and find out more about each other. At first, you might feel a little vulnerable sharing such an intimate act with your partner. You might worry about what you look like, the faces you make while touching yourself or the moans that might slip through your lips but trust me once you relax you might find the experience to be quite sexy. In fact one of the things I am most turned on by is watching my husband pleasure himself and seeing him shoot his load.

By watching your partner touch himself/herself you do more than get an erotic show you can see how your partner likes to be touched and what turns them on. How does your partner stroke himself? Does he rub his testicles or run his fingers over his nipples as he touches himself? Does she prefer rubbing her clit or sliding her fingers or a toy inside herself when she masturbates? This is where you should be paying attention and learning how best you can please your partner in the future. By sharing this intimate moment with each other you and your partner increase your trust with one another and are one step closer to having a more happy and fulfilling sex life.

 

 

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B is for Blindfold: Ideas for Blindfold Play

When Mr. Ideas and I purchased our first bondage kit several months ago it came with a blindfold. Blindfolds are a fun and sexy way to spice up your sex life. If you are new to the concepts of BDSM this will be a great beginning exercise for you and your partner to try. If you don’t have a blindfold handy grab a necktie, scarf, or bandana. As long as the object you are using is comfortable and blocks out sight it will work.

So one of the questions you may be wondering is “Why use a blindfold?” When you cut off one of your senses the other four intensify. Most of us rely heavily on our sense of sight but when we lose that we become much more aware of what is really going on around us. Our sense of touch magnifies and what might have been a slight touch before can make us quiver when we didn’t see it coming. We hear the increased breathing, smell the scented candles burning and taste the lips of our lover all the more.

Without the sense of sight, the blindfolded partner is left to lie there anticipating their lover’s next move which makes it a great time to try out new things. Here is a small list of things to try on your partner while he/she is blindfolded:

  1.  Move your hands (tongue, or feather) slowly over your lover’s body. Focus on areas you might normally not give much attention to when making love.
  2. Break out the ice. Move the ice slowly over your lover’s body as it melts. Not knowing this cold sensation is coming will definitely add to the element of surprise.
  3. Use a vibrator to massage over your partner’s body. Intensify speeds as you wish. This works great with a metal vibrator because of the smooth cool feeling.
  4. Try out a new toy your partner may enjoy but be a little nervous about. Now might be the perfect time to try out those nipple clamps or to lube up a butt plug or anal beads and try them out on your partner. (You can check out our guide to beginning anal play HERE.)
  5. Don’t forget to give your partner oral. A little ice or a menthol cough drop will add a little tingling and sensitivity as your senses are heightened. If your guy is the one blindfolded it might also be a good time to try The Grapefruit Blow Job. 
  6. Feed your blindfolded lover some special treats like strawberries, grapes, or chocolate.
  7. Other items you might want to include: feathers, oils, wax, and massagers.

Blindfold play can add intimacy and trust to your relationship. The partner with the blindfold can’t see what is about to happen and has to fully trust that whatever his/her partner is about to do will be an arousing experience for the both of you.  Blindfolding your partner puts you in a very dominate state. Your partner has entrusted you with their entire body and that is a lot of power.

However, as with all activities, communication is key. Talk to your partner about sex. Talk about things you would like to try and things you are definitely not okay with. If you are afraid your partner might do something you are uncomfortable with have a “safe word.” A safe word is a word that you set up with your partner and use in sexual situations where you would like them to stop or become less intense. Safe words are used commonly during role play when “No” might not necessarily mean “No.”

 

Also see: A is for Anal: Tips for Beginners

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A is for Anal: Tips for Beginners

This is the first installment of my A to Z sex blog series where I work my way through the alphabet, touching on a new sexual topic that may be of interest to couples with each new letter. My hope is to finish all 26 letters by the end of September. So without further ado….A is for Anal.

Many couples are curious about anal play and sex and for good reason, the anal area can be an erogenous zone for many. I personally love anal sex but my first experience was a horrible one. My partner and I did not know what we were doing. I was young and nervous and had never read anything about anal sex. He had watched just enough porn videos to be dangerous and broke all of the rules, he went in fast, we didn’t use lube (a definite no-no, especially for beginners!), and worst of all he did not listen to me when I communicated with him that it was painful. Partners should always listen to one another and if one partner is not enjoying the experience it should be halted immediately and anal sex should never be painful.

Here are some of the best anal sex tips for beginners:

1. Use lots of lube.

While the vagina is naturally lubricated the anus is not. A good water-based lube will be your best friend when it comes to anal play even if you decide not to penetrate. The tissue in the anus is more sensitive than the vagina and you want to avoid this being an uncomfortable experience.


 

2. Go slow and relax.

Items similar to Slow Slow Parking Sign - Wall Decal on Etsy

Slow is going to be key to the enjoyment of anal sex. Make sure your partner is relaxed and ready to receive. Start with some foreplay, stimulate the area with a finger or tongue. Insert lube fingers or a small toy designed for the area like a butt plug before trying out his member. When and if you are ready for penetration make sure your partner puts his penis in slowly. If you are nervous try rubbing your clit and focus on how good that feels during the insertion process.

3.  Communicate with your partner.

Using your words and listening to your partner will ensure you both have an enjoyable experience. Be honest with your partner about how you are feeling or if you feel you need a break or to change something. Be receptive to your partner’s suggestions and in tune with their needs so you both have a “happy ending.”

 

A quick word of caution for those new to anal play. Wash any toys, fingers, or your penis (or change condoms) before inserting them into the vaginal area. Bacteria found in the anus can lead to a vaginal or urinary tract infection if it finds its way into the vagina.

I hope my sharing of my first experience and these tips have not scared you away from anal play. My intentions were to offer some advice so that it would be a more enjoyable experience for both you and your partner. Fast forward almost two decades and a husband who listens to my needs and I have found anal sex to be quite an orgasmic experience.

 

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