I have titled this post-Friday Night Fail: Masturbation Gone Wrong, but it could also be known as “why you probably shouldn’t buy sex toys from China.”
So as some of you may know I have a Sex Bucket List and one of the things on my list is to wear a remote controlled vibrator in public and let my husband be in control of the remote. I recently went on Amazon and purchased this vibrating wearable butterfly toy.
After a long day at work and errands ran I checked the mail and was surprised to see my new toy had arrived earlier than expected. I had a busy night ahead of me as I was planning on attending the local high school football game with my husband. There was no time for fun and games..or was there? After a little prompting from my eager husband I gave in and decided to try on my new toy for size. There were no instructions or directions to help us so luckily it was a pretty easy setup. Just attach the straps in the slots on the side of the toy and then strap onto my thighs.
My hubby was all too ready to help and I was in a hurry so I quickly removed my pants and panties and laid down on the bed while he inserted the silicone vibrator inside me and adjusted the straps on my thighs. The straps were easily adjustable much like the straps on a bra. Once strapped on it felt snug and in place but I slipped a lacy pink thong atop for added support. Just a fast stop at the local Fred’s for batteries and we would be on our way.
I sat in the parking lot watching my husband insert the AAAs in the remote. Once hesitant I was now looking forward to our little secret. He pushed the button on the little pink remote and I watched as the light lit up and nothing. He proceeded to push it over and over and yet nothing happened.
Hmm…maybe there was a switch or something on the toy we had missed. I reached into my jeans and felt around. I couldn’t feel a switch. I was going to have to remove the toy and have a look. A careful glance around the parking lot told me it was a little too busy for this here so we headed down the road. Once on the road, I unbuttoned my pants and unhooked the straps and removed the toy from my slightly wet pussy. As I removed it the head of the vibrator came off and we noticed there had been another battery compartment we had missed. Ok, same size batteries, easy fix.
I added the batteries as we continued to drive down the road, all the while discussing dinner plans. A push of the remote button and…nothing. Really? I continued to fiddle with the toy, maybe the batteries were in wrong, maybe the part wasn’t screwed back just right. Nope. Nothing we did worked.
Finally, we arrived at the high school ready to watch the football game, having decided it was too late to stop for dinner. Normally parking is free but today a teenager is fastly approaching our vehicle gathering money as I struggle to hide the toy and cover up the fact my jeans are still unbuttoned and partially down on my hips. By now this had been one crazy and disappointing night.
While the toy was a fail my wonderful husband was sure to make it up to me once we got home. Now more than ever we both are looking forward to purchasing a new remote controlled vibrating toy and crossing this adventure off of our list.