Friday Night Fail: Masturbation Gone Wrong

I have titled this post-Friday Night Fail: Masturbation Gone Wrong, but it could also be known as “why you probably shouldn’t buy sex toys from China.”

So as some of you may know I have a Sex Bucket List and one of the things on my list is to wear a remote controlled vibrator in public and let my husband be in control of the remote. I recently went on Amazon and purchased this vibrating wearable butterfly toy.

After a long day at work and errands ran I checked the mail and was surprised to see my new toy had arrived earlier than expected. I had a busy night ahead of me as I was planning on attending the local high school football game with my husband. There was no time for fun and games..or was there? After a little prompting from my eager husband I gave in and decided to try on my new toy for size. There were no instructions or directions to help us so luckily it was a pretty easy setup. Just attach the straps in the slots on the side of the toy and then strap onto my thighs.

My hubby was all too ready to help and I was in a hurry so I quickly removed my pants and panties and laid down on the bed while he inserted the silicone vibrator inside me and adjusted the straps on my thighs. The straps were easily adjustable much like the straps on a bra. Once strapped on it felt snug and in place but I slipped a lacy pink thong atop for added support. Just a fast stop at the local Fred’s for batteries and we would be on our way.

I sat in the parking lot watching my husband insert the AAAs in the remote. Once hesitant I was now looking forward to our little secret. He pushed the button on the little pink remote and I watched as the light lit up and nothing. He proceeded to push it over and over and yet nothing happened.

Hmm…maybe there was a switch or something on the toy we had missed. I reached into my jeans and felt around. I couldn’t feel a switch. I was going to have to remove the toy and have a look. A careful glance around the parking lot told me it was a little too busy for this here so we headed down the road. Once on the road, I unbuttoned my pants and unhooked the straps and removed the toy from my slightly wet pussy. As I removed it the head of the vibrator came off and we noticed there had been another battery compartment we had missed. Ok, same size batteries, easy fix.

I added the batteries as we continued to drive down the road, all the while discussing dinner plans. A push of the remote button and…nothing. Really? I continued to fiddle with the toy, maybe the batteries were in wrong, maybe the part wasn’t screwed back just right. Nope. Nothing we did worked.

Finally, we arrived at the high school ready to watch the football game, having decided it was too late to stop for dinner. Normally parking is free but today a teenager is fastly approaching our vehicle gathering money as I struggle to hide the toy and cover up the fact my jeans are still unbuttoned and partially down on my hips. By now this had been one crazy and disappointing night.

While the toy was a fail my wonderful husband was sure to make it up to me once we got home. Now more than ever we both are looking forward to purchasing a new remote controlled vibrating toy and crossing this adventure off of our list.


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M is for Masturbation

In honor of Masturbation Monday, I have decided to skip ahead in my A to Z sex blog series and share with you the letter M.

Masturbation is simply sexual stimulating your own genitals for pleasure usually to the point of orgasm. There are many ways to masturbate, you can use your hands or fingers, everyday objects like the pulsating water from a showerhead or sex toys like a vibrator. There is so much that can be said about masturbation but in this post, I am going to address just two areas, the benefits of masturbation and masturbating with your partner.

Did you know that masturbation can be more than just fun that there are actual health benefits as well? I am going to share a few with you but be sure there are many more.

    1. Masturbation relieves stress for both men and women by releasing oxytocin, a hormone that makes you happier and helps with depression.
    2. Masturbating works as a natural sleep aid. Leading up to climax your body produces the hormone dopamine and afterward oxytocin along with endorphins which can help you fight insomnia naturally.
    3. Women who experience regular orgasm have a greater resistance to coronary heart disease and less chance of developing type 2 diabetes.
    4. Masturbation or orgasm can be a natural pain reliever. It also helps in relieving  cramps in women during their menstrual cycles.
    5. Masturbation helps flush out bacteria from the cervix in women and lowers chances of getting a urinary tract infection.
    6. Regular ejaculation in men causes sperm to be more healthy. Research has shown that the sperm quality and quantity increases the more a man ejaculates.
    7. Men who ejaculate more than 5 times a week are 1/3  less likely to have prostate cancer because it flushes the toxins out of the urogenital tract.
    8. Regular ejaculation in men helps prevent erectile dysfunction.

When most people hear the word masturbation they usually think of it as a solo activity. Masturbating was something you did to get yourself off before you met your partner but what if I told you that masturbating with your partner could also be a great way to spice up your sex life and find out more about each other. At first, you might feel a little vulnerable sharing such an intimate act with your partner. You might worry about what you look like, the faces you make while touching yourself or the moans that might slip through your lips but trust me once you relax you might find the experience to be quite sexy. In fact one of the things I am most turned on by is watching my husband pleasure himself and seeing him shoot his load.

By watching your partner touch himself/herself you do more than get an erotic show you can see how your partner likes to be touched and what turns them on. How does your partner stroke himself? Does he rub his testicles or run his fingers over his nipples as he touches himself? Does she prefer rubbing her clit or sliding her fingers or a toy inside herself when she masturbates? This is where you should be paying attention and learning how best you can please your partner in the future. By sharing this intimate moment with each other you and your partner increase your trust with one another and are one step closer to having a more happy and fulfilling sex life.



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Masturbation Monday: Sex Diary Entry


It has been a long week and I am exhausted. It is 3 am and I think about just going to sleep but I really want to cum and more than that I really want HIM to cum. After a few minutes of kissing I reach down and begin to stroke his manhood. I spit on my hand and stroke the now wet penis up and down. I adore the way his sexy brown eyes look at me intensely and his mouth is slightly gaped open in ecstasy. I know he wants to explode but I want to see him jack-off. I stop and begin to caress his balls in my hand hoping he will continue where I left off. He takes the bait (or rather the dick) and begins to jerk vigorously. I can’t handle it anymore. I spread my legs and reach down to my now swollen clit. I rub it with my middle finger, quickly with side to side motion. He watches, moving his hand up and down the shaft of his penis faster and faster. With our naked bodies touching side by side my eyes dart from his face to his hand, not being able to decide which I’d rather see, his look of wanting that release or his hand on his throbbing hard cock. I cum first, fast and hard. I slip my fingers inside and place them dripping wet inside my lover’s mouth. That is all it takes, he explodes his load all over my trembling naked body. As his warm cum touches my skin I cum again. It drips down my neck, it covers my bare breast and trickles over my hard nipples, it dribbles over the sides of my plump belly and towards my hairless pussy. I look at him and all I can say is “thank you.”

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